I have another reason of course: I have been extremely busy with the main part of the website, so I haven’t had as much time for complaining as I’d otherwise like.  How much time?  On average, word-counts for the articles on both the humor and gaming front have increased each year since Useless Babble was reopened.  Currently, I can’t sustain it.  I have plenty of new ideas, but I’m getting burnt out, and the site has been cutting rather deeply into my personal life. 

Given all that, I definitely can’t keep up the pace, so something needs to be done.  Hell, the work has already started, but don’t expect to see something concrete for a little while.

Starting right away, I’m going to be scaling back regular releases on the main site in order to spend more time on a special project.  I’m not going to reveal much right now, but if everything goes well, it should free up a lot more time, and bring a whole lot of new people to the site.  Which, believe me, is a good thing. 

Ok, you can go back to reading about Die Hard and trying to figure out which superhero is more homoerotic. 

“What the fuck?  Which one?”

Well, he didn’t send me a reply, so I did some research, and it turns out the answer is “all of them”.

I had worked at Blockbuster when I was in high school, all the way up to the time I had gone away to college.  Since leaving, I had come back a handful of times, less as the years passed.  A trip I had taken down there to rent Paul a couple of weeks ago had been the first time this year I had visited.  It was shocking that the branch I had spent a few years in was closing its doors soon, and would probably be replaced by an office furniture store or something.

Last time I was in, my old manager was working.  When I came up to the counter, she pulled the other workers together and told them “This is the guy I was telling you about.  The guy with the idea that could save everybody a lot of trouble.”

What she was talking about was an idea I had come up with after being subjected to a 15 minute shout by a customer who was irate that they were being charged $2.25 for keeping a copy of The Jungle Book (the live-action Disney version) late for a few days.  I had suggested that we set up a machine rigged up on a delay to the door sensor.  When anybody walked in the door, the machine would punch them in the face.  That way, when the customer got up to the counter, they’d be so pissed off about being punched in the face, they wouldn’t mind the late fees so much.

It was kind of neat to see that people told stories about my exploits, like the night I had shrink-wrapped every item on the boss’s desk, then shrink wrapped the desk itself.  It took her 20 minutes to get her shrink-wrapped cigarettes out of the shrink-wrapped box they were placed in, alternatively laughing her ass off and cursing me at the same time.

While it’s sad to see Blockbuster go, it’s the way things have been heading for a while.  Blockbuster in the US is almost a memory.  It’s easier and even sometimes cheaper to just rent videos online.  Without actively looking for online solutions, I have two machines that are Netflix enabled and access to the PSN movie store. 

But, some good has come out of all of this.  I’ve grabbed some cheap movies, and I can now go as an undead Blockbuster employee on Halloween.

Never mind that the kind of people who cheat in online games have all the maturity of a 3rd grader, but they’ve actually honed skills to allow them to cheat.  What did you think was going to happen when you started to ban them?  They were going to leave you alone?

Well, the PSN has been down now since about Thursday.  Nobody’s come out to claim responsibility for the attack that took down the entire network.  Big surprise there.  Thankfully Sony is taking the opportunity to beef up security server-side to help protect them from an inevitable attack in the future.  Only time will be able to tell if what they’re doing will be enough.

The big question is: how long will Sony take?  With three big games out last week: Portal 2, Mortal Kombat and Socom 4, all of which use online multiplayer, Sony’s gotta be feeling the sting of angry basement dwellers the world over.  My prediction: we’ll probably be waiting until Tuesday evening before the network comes back up.  Sony generally releases updates, patches and, let’s not forget, new products to the online store on Tuesdays, so they would either be extremely silly or extremely hard hit if they go much longer past that.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue trying to play co-op mode in Portal 2 by myself.

Update (April 26th): Well, it seems like it’s not just an attack, but account information and credit card numbers have also been stolen, although Sony either doesn’t know or won’t say who or exactly what is affected.  I’ve often complained about not being able to use my credit card on the Playstation Network, but now I’m kind of glad.  At most, I’ll likely need to change my password.  For those of you out there who need to call their credit card companies right now: I feel for you.

Once I’ve actually received the package, and made sure that they haven’t destroyed all of it, I’ll be sure to write more.  For now, know that I am pissed off at DHL.

Me: I’ve decided something today.

Evil Jordan: What’s that?

Me: I’ve decided that I want to become a hillwilliam.

EJ: A what?

Me: A hillwilliam.  It’s like a hillbilly, but fancier.

EJ: Is there a difference?

Me: Well, William is the formal, long-form version of Billy.  It’s more distinguished.

EJ: Is there an actual difference?

Me: I believe I get to wear a monocle.

EJ: Well, it’s good to have a goal in life.

Me: One must always aspire towards greatness.

On our drive down to the city on Friday, Chippy Sunshine and I grabbed some of the first game of the series.  Boston beating Toronto a stunning 14-3.  The next morning, we set out early for the Rogers Centre Skydome: Chippy Sunshine, Evil Jordan, my brother Taylor and myself.  We were not prepared for one thing; the bane of basement dwellers everywhere: the sun.

To say it was hot out, would be an understatement.  Southern Ontario has been firmly in the grip of a heat wave now for nearly two weeks.  What relief we see in the rain is short-lived; there are no soft falling misting sprinkles here, only hard, unrelenting droplets, cold as ice and as hard as bullets.

Saturday, July 10th, 2010.  Bright blue skies, sun high and bright in the sky and not a cloud in sight.  Temperatures up in the lower triple digits.  The teams take to the field and we take to our seats.  Evil Jordan, having waited a whole year to trash-talk is silenced when Boston runs one in.  He sullenly declares that the Blue Jays are “cooking something up”.

His prediction seemed to be coming true as the Jays tied it in the bottom of the first, and then scored two more, bringing the total to 3-1 Toronto.  Honestly, I’d expect Evil Jordan to gloat more, and take the opportunity, but it’s just too damned hot to trash-talk.  It’s too hot to drink beer, and nobody feels like getting a hot dog.  Everybody just gets some water or a soda into them, shuts up and focuses on the game.

Top of the second now, and Boston decides to copy Toronto, bringing in three more runners on their own.  Toronto is shut out at the bottom of the second, and it’s now 4-3 Boston.  The third is much the same.  Boston puts another runner in, and keeps Toronto out.  5-3 Boston.

The heat is unrelenting.  Chippy takes my shirt (previously removed to make way for a jersey) and uses it as a makeshift tent.  Taylor, Evil Jordan and I share a bottle of sunscreen.  It works for a bit, but Taylor eventually retreats to the shade of the stadium staircase.

Toronto begins to turn it around in the fourth: 5-5, and 7-5 Toronto by the fifth.  I merely have to tell Evil Jordan to “shut the fuck up” to keep the illusion of banter going.  It’s too hot to think of anything particularly clever, but I did get in a good shot about Toronto trading away Halliday before he pitched his perfect game for Oakland, and we shared a chuckle about Scott Downs (hehehe…it’s Downs’ syndrome).

The crowd suddenly goes wild, screaming like both teams had suddenly hit home runs simultaneously.  A cloud had drifted overhead and momentarily blocked the sun.  The game also stops momentarily as everybody watches a frantic race in the 400-seats between two young boys scrambling towards a foul ball struck far and away from anybody in the seats.

Toronto won that game: 9-5.  Evil Jordan got his gloating, and it was a great game.  With one exception: could somebody in the Blue Jays organization actually throw a ball without hitting somebody?  There must have been about six beans against the Sox that day.  Absolutely unbelievable.  I’m shocked that nobody rushed the mound; some of those seemed intentional.

Another note: I’ve been watching the All-Star game while I’ve been writing this.  While I’m not really a National Leaguer (except for the Braves; for whatever reason, I get more of their games on TV than anybody else), it’s good to see them finally win one of these games.  The last one they won was in 1996, and now that it actually means something, that’s all the better for them.

Just some notes:

• I live near Toronto (or close enough), so I have a hard time getting baseball on TV.  If I’m at a bar, it’s usually preempted by hockey in the spring, football in the fall or soccer whenever.  It’s a little disheartening to see football ads throughout the show.
• Can Fox broadcast a single fucking baseball game where they don’t cut out at least one-third of a side to make room for more ads?  Do we really need to miss a strike out in order to see another of those stupid ads for FreeCreditReport.com?
• A lot of people were booing the Yankees players.  As a Boston fan, this warms my heart considerably.

ALSO, today George Steinbrenner died of a heart attack.  I’m not a huge fan of his, but I’m sure where ever he is, he’s firing Billy Martin.

Protesters who were complaining about being harassed and victimized by the police: kindly shut the fuck up. 

Compare the actions of the police in accordance to the riot with the third grade.  Let’s say that you’re sitting happily at your desk, doing your work, when the class clown decides that it’s a good idea to sneak a tack onto the teacher’s chair.  The teacher sits down, gets the point (obligatory pun) and demands to know who did it.  Nobody wants to be a rat, so nobody speaks up, and as punishment, you’re all kept in detention after school.

Is it fair?  No it’s not, but that’s one of the prime rules that you learn when you’re in the third grade.  Life isn’t necessarily fair.  Sometimes you get more than you bargained for, not because of anything you did, but because of what those around you did and what you didn’t do.

To clarify things in my example, the students in the classroom would be the protestors, the class clown represents the Black Bloc rioters and the teacher represents the police force.  Instead of the silence of those around them (although there was plenty of that too), the Black Bloc wears a uniform black costume, complete with mask that prevents them from being identified, then changes back to street clothes when it becomes convenient to do so.  This means that it’s difficult if not impossible for the police to single out Black Bloc rioters from the rest of the protestors.

Not only is there that difficulty for the police, but the protestors themselves make the work more difficult by actively refusing to cooperate with the police, and the camera crews that did spot Black Bloc rioters removing their disguises were threatened with violence.

I’m not saying that the police are in the right here.  I believe that the legitimate and cooperative protestors have my support.  I do not believe that Toronto was an appropriate location for the G20 Summit.  My real problem is with the troublemakers.  The ones who refuse to leave an area when ordered by police, or record an event and then use video editing to make it appear as if police are using excess force. 

I believe that on both sides of the fight: the police and the protestors, there were many people who wanted to do just what they came there to accomplish.  The actions of a few (relatively speaking) overzealous individuals on both fronts ruined that.

Protestors have a moral, if not a legal obligation to stop a Black Bloc rioter from causing property damage or assaulting somebody if it is safe to do so and within their capacity.  Any protestor who cheered on the Bloc when they smashed a store window or set a police car on fire should be considered culpable.  If more legitimate protestors were to speak up against the Black Bloc, or even to take action against them, the protests could become more peaceful, and then police presence and the inevitable violence of the G20 Summits could be reduced.

But if they didn’t do anything, how can they be found at fault?  If you were enter a store with a friend, who then proceeds to shoplift, both of you can be arrested for the crime.  It’s unfortunate, just as it’s unfortunate that innocent people were arrested or assaulted during the riot.  It’s not fair, but then again, life isn’t fair.

We all learned that in the third grade.  Some of us just need a refresher course.

This year however, it was shaping up to be better.  Most of April has been warm, downright balmy some days.  Compare to last year, when there was snow, this Easter weekend was a complete turn-around.  It was shorts-weather.  It was awesome.

Today however, was a little different.  After continual heavy rain.  It decided to start snowing.  Not just a sprinkle either.  We had full on white-outs in Lindsay.  We’re talking zero-visibility.

Mother Nature is such a tease sometimes.

If you read my last post, you’ll know that Elan Games, the place where the server this website is hosted from, went out of business in late March.  John Prentice, the man behind the business had to move the server to a new location, a process that took about a day, during which the website was inaccessible.

Everything looked good until April 1st, when I went to post a special April Fools day page, and couldn’t upload my files.  It turned out that my FTP connection was no longer valid because of the move, and some later troubles came in. 

Long story short, John had to divide his time trying to get me access to the website innards (important), and search for a job (somewhat more important…I guess), so I’ve just been able to get access yesterday, which lead to updates on the main site today.

So, what did I do with my month off?

Well, I managed to actually get a few articles done in advance, something that I regularly complain about.

I also managed to enter and complete a script challenge at Script Frenzy.  The challenge was to write a 100 page script in 30 days, which I completed with some 7 hours to spare.  I ended up writing what I think is a pretty good comic book script (but then again, who thinks their stuff is shit before the 4th revision anyway?).  I’ll be revising it soon, along with writing the second installment.  More details on that soon.

So, now that things on the website are back to normal, expect more updates.  I have a few things I’ve wanted to write down, but have been holding off on, so stay tuned for that.  I’m also working on a new article series, which is a collaboration, more on that later too.

TLDR; - I’m back, new stuff up, more new stuff later.

PS - Email comments on the main page aren’t working right.  I’m looking into that.  Comments on the blog still work fine.

You might remember Elan Games from:

• The Great Crush Tasting
• Elan Tournament of Champions All-Nighter
• New Years at Elan
• Elan Games Halloween All-Nighter 2009

Elan Games or it’s owner John Prentice have also featured in:

• Mailbag: November ‘08
• From Soda to Superheroes

So, yeah, John means a lot to this page.  In fact, he is the official Useless Babble web host, which is why I love to plug him and his business as much as possible (besides the fact that I enjoy going to it, and would have liked to do so more often).  Not only that, but our servers are located in Elan Games.

Unfortunately, while John moves the servers to another location, this website will be down.  We’re expecting it to be Monday and possibly Tuesday of next week, and then back up and peachy keen.

So, for a short period this weekend, you can read one last blog article about one last All-Nighter at Elan.  The end of an era.

John, if you happen to read this, I hope you all the best.